Me and My Little Tiny Thoughts

drama drama drama

2011-04-07T08:13:00.000-07:00

hmm dont know where to begin my story.. okay so here we go, my life is pretty much sucks. my bestfriends been actin cold, my parents hate me, so basically my life's just a cracking pie. everything is a mess and i dont know how to fix it. ive been having sum troubles in my love life relationship and trust me it really sucks to the very core. so, there are dis 2 different guys, but oh well.. it didnt work out. yeah, both of them. so why bother to tell you the story?

frankly speaking, i dont know where i stand rite now. i mean, i know im a 22 year old girl and im a college student. but im really lost and i really dont know what i want in this life. i know, it has always been a problem for me, yeah figurin out myself, looking for what i really want in dis life.. pursuing happiness and all dat gold.

i need some directions, a guide to a peaceful life. ive never feel dis far with god before.. and now, i admit that i rarely pray and i kind of forget how it feels to talk to him, to be near him and live under his Will. u might wanna help me to get thru dis shit. it's like livin in such an empty life, a life without light. it seems like everything i do brings me nothing but disaster, seriously, my life lately is so far from blessing.

often i feel like i wanna disappear, to a place so far that no one could reach me. i wanna have a new beginning and completely forget my past. but oh well we know dat no matter how far you go to disappear, you'll come right back to the place you first begin your life in. there's no achievement, no goals.. i am a complete loser man, seriously i need sum help.

aaaaaaaaaa.

counting down xmas day

2010-11-12T02:09:00.000-08:00

readers, let's be excited coz christmas is coming! i dont know why im so excited about christmas. well, maybe it means holiday is coming and new year is close too. eventho my family doesnt celebrate it, i still get the whole vibe thing of christmas. well as we know that christmas is an event where you meet your friends, enjoying dinner, exchanging gifts, feeling grateful for life, etc. everyone is waiting for christmas time to come, lets be merry and be joyful!! i think im gonna celebrate this year's xmas by having a fancy dinner with my best girlfriends.

i just want this year to be more special than any other year. i want it to be unforgettable for every each one of us. i mean why not we make it special it's once in a year event and everyone's loving it. but the thing is i dont even know the place to celebrate it yet. well i'll figure it out later. i dont have any specific wish list for this xmas, i just want my life to be better and full of loving and caring people. i want to live my life with no regrets although it's a very hard one. and i just want the world to gets better and better, no more disaster. and this xmas, i wont give out xmas cards for everyone. i'll give only to some of my closest friends and family.

he's cute and he's mine

2010-11-01T23:55:00.000-07:00

readers, i'm going to tell you about my cute little dog. Well, my dog's name is Sunday. He's a shitshu and he's 11 months. I love him very much because he's my first dog (I hope he will be the last). Anyway, I bought him earlier this year on February, 13th 2010 from a friend's friend. His face looks old just like a grandpa, but I fell in love the first time i saw him. So, I made this huge decision to buy him without even telling my dad. My dad was so angry and still is. but my mom looks like she loves him.

Sunday was so calm and quiet the first day he came. I think he's a little depressed. At first, I didn't know how to take care of him, so I bought him milk, dog foods and lots of treats and bones for him to chew. I was so panicked when he cried at night so I accompanied him downstairs until he's asleep. It was a torment. I think the portion of my attention to him is a little too much. the torment wasn't over until he finally peed and pooped everywhere. and oh he even ate his own poop. Eww I know it's so disgusting but u kno what, it was also so frustrating for me to taking care of him. hundreds of time i kept telling myself to stay put because i kno ive to get thru this process no matter how i hate it.

It wasn't easy teaching him how to sit, spin, and shake hands. But finally, after a very long time, he could do it. It's a tearjerking moment for me when he could do those moves. Seriously, I was very very happy and so proud of him. My brothers and my sisters love him that much and they taught him so many things too and always play with him. Everyone loves sunday except my dad. Well, I think he just need more time or maybe not, maybe he'll hate sunday forever. The problem is he hates animal because he said it's dirty, full of bacteries and they always pooped everywhere they like. well, he got quite a point though, but still.. i can never let sunday go..

anyway, sunday is an energetic and a hyper dog. he barks so loud lately and i hate it so much! but i like when we play fetch cause he's so good at it, i'd throw a doll to sumwhere far and hide and he'll be lookin for me.aww he's so cute when he does that. sunday likes meeting new people, he'll be outta control sumtimes and jump so hyperly to the new people. well, it's so annoying and i know it scares the hell outta people. lol. almost all my friends love him. I'm so glad I have him u kno coz he filled my house with happiness and fun. I would take him for grooming every once in a week, just making sure he's clean and smells good. also, when I have spare time in the afternoon, I would bring him for a walk. the neighbors, securities, and kids around my home know his name. He's pretty popular here. Some neighbor would ask me questions about him and playing around with him. He's like the prince of this little street.

above is some of the pics of my lil sunday. xoxo

Cheers to the beers

2010-11-01T09:53:00.000-07:00

Most people like to drink beer. Especially when you're out with your friends, nothing to do, you probably will go to somewhere chill and grab a beer. At least that's what most of young people do. Drink a cold beer to keep us company for the whole night. I know it's not good for you tummy, but who cares now?! I could careless. So, cheers to the beers!

Beer bintang

Hoegarden

and of course flavoured beer.

Another natural disaster in Indonesia

2010-11-01T09:34:00.000-07:00

http://www.cbc.ca/world/story/2010/11/01/indonesia-volcano-tsunami.html

Deep condolences for those who have lost their family. I know it's a heartbreaking moment for everyone. For those who lives in Mentawai and Jogjakarta, please be strong and trust the Lord that everything is going to be okay. Don't get tired of praying to our God. Remember, your sorrow is the world's sorrow. God blesses all of you.

When I saw the news on TV about Mentawai's Tsunami earthquake and Volcanos in Jogja, I was so upset. I mean, why does it has to happen? What is it that He really wants to tell us? People are making too many mistakes? too many sins? maybe He wants us to do some introspection. what have we done to the earth? Many people believe that god is angry with us, for what we're doing to His creation, to His earth. Well, maybe what they said is true. God is angry with human, and He wants to remind us that the world has gone bad, that every each one of us has to know that it's time to stop doing things He doesn't like.

Well, I ain't no saint. I made so many mistakes too, but we should at least try to alter ourselves from devil to angel. Yeah, it's not as easy as saying it.. I know I know. Still, it's worth trying. Take care everyone, stay strong and give a little prayer to those who mourn.

21 and ready to rock the world.

2010-08-26T03:12:00.000-07:00

Time flies so freaking fast. I remembered couple years ago i was still in my high school uniform and now like a blink of an eye, I'm 21 already. Entering the age of 21 is not a small thing for me because I think it carries lots of responsibility for being a 21 years old young lady. Many people say that as you grow older, you become more mature and hell yes dat's what I really feel right now. I don't know exactly which part of me that have changed. I know that I'm not as skinny as I was before, but it's not about me physically. (And I don't really wanna discuss this) lol. A

nyway, the way I think about some things is not the same anymore, particularly in life and love area. I've learnt that time changes everything, it's not healing anything or in my case any pain, but it changes things. It gives you process to grow, to let go our pain, to control our emotion, and to see things clearly from a more positive point of view. I feel so blessed for being 21 because I know it's just the beginning of my life experience, well the more crazy one of course. I know I'm still so young and I really wanna make the most of it memorable. So, like a crazy young lady dilly-dallying around the city and nowhere to go, I promise to myself I will find my true life and of course my true love. :)

first love

2010-08-02T01:43:00.000-07:00

pertama kali gw suka sama org itu pas kelas 3 sd. gw inget banget karna dia itu temen baik kakak gw, dan dia sering main ke rumah gw saat itu.. kt sering main petak umpet bareng, pokoknya masa masa kecil gw saat itu super bahagia. :) sampe kemudian gw jadian kelasa 6 sd for the very first time, dan kemudian gw masuk smp dan ketemu lagi sama cowo yg gw suka.. tpi mereka smua itu bs dibilang bukan siapa siapa. karna sejujurnya gw ngga share perasaan apapun ke mereka, gw ngga sayang mereka, yang gw rasain saat itu ya cuman suka aja.

sampe gw masuk sma.. dan gw jadian dengan 1 laki laki yang bener2 ngubah hidup gw smua, segala cara pandang gw, karena dia adalah cinta pertama gw. dia adalah sosok seorang anak laki2 yang bukan cuman gw suka, tapi jg gw sayang banget. 2 tahun yang gw lewatin sama dia itu begitu berarti buat gw, karena dia gw bs bahagia dan bisa happy bawaannya tiap hari. gw sesayang itu sama dia.

setiap hari, setiap menit, detik tuh selalu gw spend sama dia. gw rela ga plg ke rumah cuman demi ketemu dia, gw rela kabur dr rmh demi dia, sgalanya gw lakuin demi dia. it may sounds so stupid, tapi itu lah cinta pertama. hampir buat semua org cinta pertama itu ga akan pernah mereka lupain. gw seneng banget pokoknya bs kenal sama dia.

and then, things changed. kt grow apart. karna dia harus ke melbourne utk skolah dan saat itu gw mau ke amrik, jadi gw memutuskan untuk ya udahin aja. gw hambar karena terlalu lama LD. gw tau gw salah karna gw begitu impulsive. gw juga saat itu sempet deket sama this one guy yg kt berdua tuh tau we wont be together no matter what. terlalu ga mungkin. dan saat itu gw jujur sama dia kalo there's sumone else. gw tau gw ngehancurin hati dia banget. tapi gw jujur sama dia.. gw ga bs boongin dia saat itu, krn dia terlalu berarti buat gw.

dan sejak saat itu semuanya bener2 fall into pieces banget. gw sama dia bener2 ngejalanin 2 dunia yang berbeda, awalnya kt ga bisa lupain satu sama lain. tapi terakhir gw yg sakit hati sama dia karna dia jadian sama cewe lain, dan hati gw hancur. ngga tau kenapa, tapi gw masih syg dia, ngga peduli seberapa dia benci gw, tapi dia masih jadi yg terbaik buat gw.

mungkin perasaan dendam sama dia ada karna beberapa hal, krn hati gw smpet hancur jg sama dia. gw been through a lot sama dia, yang bener2 sampe saat ini gw ga bisa lupain. gw susah paya selama bertahun2 sejak itu untuk lupain dia. tapi sumhow ngga bisa, gw ngga tau kenapa mungkin karena gw dah bergantung sm dia untuk apapun. karna he used to be there for me. sakit sih untuk flash back..kadang gw mikir untuk ga mau liat lg ke belakang, tapi memory2 itu terlalu indah buat gw lupain.

gw terima kasih sama Tuhan karena dia pernah singgah dia hidup gw buat growing up together pas remaja. walaupun ngga msua kenangan menyenangkan, tapi jujur he's the best. gw bisa kasih seluruh hati gw buat dia, tanpa syarat. tapi ya mungkin itulah hidup, segala sesuatunya berjalan terus dan semua kenangan itu ya cuman masa lalu aja, dia dah punya cewe baru lagi dan dia udah ngejalanin hidup dia disana dengan bener2 bahagia. begitu jg gw disini, gw udah bs lupain dia, gw udah ngga kepikiran sm dia lagi setiap hari.

tapi gw masih belum bs nemuin kebahagiaan baru buat gw. masih belum ada yg bisa replace posisi dia sampai saat ini. blum ada kebahagiaan baru yang dikasih Tuhan sama gw. smua proses ini bikin gw jauh tambah dewasa dalam berfikir, gw bersyukur atas segalanya. dan sekarang, gw akan selalu mencoba untuk mencari kebahagiaan gw yang baru. karena luka di hati gw udah terlalu lama membekas, gw akan nunggu seseorang yg bener2 bs ngehilangin luka luka lama di hati gw. :)

me

2010-07-19T10:50:00.001-07:00

Strong emotion, easily overwhelmed, have no goals or direction in life, im a woman with big heavy head, curly brain and soft lame characters. getting to know me deeper is like playing a neverending puzzles. Am Not really into commitments, doesn't mean I wont be in one. Awkward and funny, I'm somewhere in between. Grabbed some opportunity, but always missed the clue.

A clumsy one, dying for freedom, wanting some happiness, and looking for peace. A creature with too many consideration and hesitation, never trust herself and too weak to fight the obstacles. Life is simply a process of learning, today and tomorrow are just another day of learning. So I'm here to keep on searching for what is right, to space some time; make mistakes, and to finally seek the true meaning of life.

plan on school adventure

2010-05-25T10:46:00.000-07:00

ive been to new york once and i wanna come back there and explore more. i wanna go to summer school in nyc coz it might be so much fun. meeting new friends, having new environment around, etc etc. but the ticket is very expensive around $1,500 and i dont wanna ask my mom coz she might kill me u know. anyway, i wanna go there again next yer. so i gotta save sum money starting from now! eventhough i cant promise it dat i'll get the money by next yer. lol

its not a small money, not to mention i still got so many things to buy here. -__-
well well.. if i cant reach nyc, i wanna go to taiwan to learn mandarin.. i really wanna go there too because i like the language very much and ive never been there before. so it would be fun. see?! ive got so many plans already by now. not sure whether i'd accomplish all of it. hmm, i think its better to just hope for the best.

friendship

2010-05-22T18:41:00.000-07:00

everyone knows that building a friendship is easy, you can make friends with anyone and then hang out with them, laughing together and all. but you know what ive been thinking is that apparently friends who i can trust on sharing my pain about life is only a few. i know dat not everyone is a good listeners, in fact there are only few good listeners and billion of good talker.

i personally is the good listener, not to mention how many life stories, love life stories people been telling me. i've so many friends and many of them come to me and tell their wonderful life stories. some of them mind to asked me back about how im doing and stuffs, but some people are just dont care. well, its okay though. i like to hear stories and im glad if i can make them happy by only listening to their life stories.

however, there are times when instead of listen, i wanna talk... i wanna tell stories of mine too, especially when im down and need an emotional support too. one and a few times when they're asking me back about how im doing and when i wanna tell them that im not really okay, and then they're just gonna give flat comments and then go on with their stories again. as if what matters is only their problems, their life stories, and not mine.

it's exhausting. and im not the typical who can share all my feelings to any friends. i need to share it to those who i trust. but so many of them are just too busy talking of themselves. it makes me think that i can have so many close friends, but there are only few that really care. only few of friends who really want to know, or would like to know whether im doing okay, and helping me solve my problems.

i know which one will stay with me in the future even if im no one. ive learnt a lot that having so many friends doesn't guarantee your happiness. friends who dont wanna listen are friends for fun, and not friends for life.

updates

2010-05-21T21:34:00.000-07:00

i almost forgot dat i have a blog page ;p

too many things happened in my life lately and i just cant seem to spill everything out in here coz i seriously can make a novel out of it.
now, im gonna tell the stories of my life, the progress of my so unpredictable life. first of all, im gonna spill you about my love life, since it's the dullest one. ha
well, ive got no one i like/love right now. it's not that i dont have any interest in guy, but i guess im just being too picky and i hated that. seriously, i hated the fact that im so picky and choosy and wanting everything to be perfect.

we all know that a perfect guy never truly exist. they just exist in a fairy tale, in a dream but not in a real life.. however the thing is im not looking for a perfect guy to complete my life. a perfect guy will just going to be a perfect disaster, so i dont want a perfect guy who has it all. i just want a man, a simple man who can give me a pure love, pure affection, not even with single stitch of love imperfection. i wont lie ive always wanted to get a good looking guy, but good looking, rich, dont really matter. what matters the most is their heart.

i want to own their heart, the whole of it. their heart is the only part that will stay the same forever. your body, your face, your wealth, it can change as the time goes by. but not with your heart, at least dat's the last you'll have that can stay the same forever.

i want to meet a man with a nice personality, who think of God, who learn to live by His life, and always remember Him whenever he's sad or happy.. he will never forget God. a man that will respect my parents, and older people more than anything in the world..

dats the man i want. does dat kind of man still exist? i dont know.. in this world full of greed, i dont know whether i can still find a man like that.
anyway, enough talking about me and my love life stories.
now i wanna share another stories.

i love my parents so much, and you know it right. my daddy is 68 years old, and he's old. like really old for me, he's starting to be pissed of anything.. mom said when people get old, they just become so sensitive, like a baby. and dats what i think my dad is encountering right now.
everytime i talk about my dad and my mom, i'll just burst into tears.

ive always imagined what if i lost them now, what im gonna do without them in my life, how can i survive without them, without their love. i just cant... and it hurts so bad just to imagine.. dats why i wanna take a good care of them, i wanna stay beside them as they grow older. i want to take them to walk, eat sumthing, have an ordinary weekend with them. spend quality time with them.

coz i know i dont have so much time, i cant make them happy by what ive become because im still no one, im not a successful person that can make them so proud of me. so the least i can give to them is my heart, my affection, my care to them.. that will complete everything. i want to be the first person who bring them medicine whenever they needed it. i want to protect them.

my simple wish in this life is to see my parents' happiness. it's so cliche i know. but is it what every single one of us wants in this life? to see our parents happy and far from problems and misery.

okay, we better change the topic now.

do you know i got a puppy now? his name is Sunday. and he is so cute and adorable!!
he's a mix of shitshu-maltese, and he's a very lazy dog and he eats a lot! i love him so so much!! :)
and everybody in this house loves him too, well except my dad. he hates Sunday so much, he never likes a dog. so he hates me too for bringing Sunday home. Im sorry daddy, but i cant just throw it a way and give it to sumbody.

i'll post his pict. here:

isnt he so cute? :D

anyway he's 5 months now and he's so big for his age.. ;p
i hope you enjoy his picture coz as u can see, he's looking at ya! :p

im gonna miss her, my maid

2010-02-06T09:24:00.000-08:00

the only thing dat will make me cry till im running out of breath is when someone i really love and care about left me. i had this maid, she's unbelievably close with my family. she controls everything at my house and she cooks anything, she really is helpful. so 13 years working at my house has made her feel like she owns us. she's pretty much changed. but i know although she nags a lot, she still love my family and i know dat dat facts will never change.

so my mom let her go couple days ago because of some reasons, and today was her last day.
i dont know why.. i feel so sad rite now. i feel so empty and so lonely and i miss her already! i know dat she could be a huge pain in the ass, and also sumtimes there's moment when i wanna hit her and just push her to the street so dat she'll be hit by a car. but after all, she's to me is like part of the family so when i lose her its as if im losing one members of my family.

and it's agonizingly painful..
it's tearing me apart to see her go.... it's just hard.
when you have someone who lives under the same roof for 13 years and suddenly she's gone, everything will be different. sumthing is just missing.

im so weak i couldnt stand not to cry
and i just realized that i hate her just as much as i love her
and now i just want her back, although i know it will never happen again, not this time.
i now know that i just simply care about her
and now, im feeling as lonely as i can be

....

well, i just hope she'll do well in her life. ive learned that losing someone you really love, is just not fun! :'(

merry christmas 2009 & happy new year 2010

2010-01-10T08:03:00.000-08:00

dear readers,
merry christmas and happy new year! i hope im not too late.im hopin 2010 will be a good year for everybody, less pain, less agony, and less drama. i spent my xmas eve and new yers eve both in different places. well my xmas eve wasnt quite memorable, i just went to a church, went for dinner with my friends. there wasnt any christmas spirit at all, dont kno why. so yeah, last christmas was just like the other day, nothing really special.

but my new yers eve was kinda different. i had lots and lots of fun! my friend held a house party at his house and bought like so many bottles of alcohol and agog everyone who comes. his house just as big as a castle (no kiddin). we threw each other to the pool and everyone was wet. it was so much fun coz everyone who came is basically my high school friends. so it's like a reunion once again, looked a lot like last year but the difference is that i wasnt that wasted, i was totally under control. im so glad that i could actually control the amount of alcohol i consumed.

i've always like winter holiday because everyone comes back to Jakarta and makes lots of rockin party out here. but most importantly, i could use that moment to meet all my old friends. ciao xoxo people. GBU!!

im a nightmare

2009-12-18T05:46:00.000-08:00

readers, i literally think that im such a useless daughter. i love my dad n my mom so much at the level that i cant really described. i've been very naughty and rebellious and always make them furious. the thing is sumtimes im angry with the world. im angry with myself and i dont know what i shud do to express all my anger and my sadness. ive been living in pain and i dont know how to change it. sumtimes i feel like i couldnt cope with it anymore. so i do things that could at least makes me forget the pain which is going to a club, partying and basically getting drunk with friends. i know its not a right way to solve my problems. but im not finding any better solutions.

i hate it if i have to follow all the rules my parents' made. call me selfish but i didnt ask them to deliver me to this world and grew up as a reckless kid who likes to do stupid things. one hundred thousand sorries still not enough. it's as if they live in grudge or sumthin. im tired. im extremely tired of his attitude towards me. he seemed to be so mad everytime he's talkin to me and hell it's hurting me so bad. i cried lots and lots of time. has he ever think about my feelings? about how it feels to be me?! im the one who always wrong, always. im reaching one point where i just wanna walk away from everything and have my lil own life.

i know deep inside dat my parents love me. but the way they treated me sometimes and the way they talked to me arent really showing love. i know im not a good daughter, and im often letting them down with all my acts like goin home at midnite, spendin lots of money, etc. but for once, dont they ever think that i love them so much too? do they know that ive to let go of everything i wanted in this life, my dream because of them and because i care abt them that much?! sriously i cant bear this anymore im crying.

it's just... why do they have to say something that always hurt my heart so much? whatever words that came out from their mouth, i will never ever forget because it lefts my heart a scar. i want a happy life, a happy family, and a supportive family. a family that never break your heart. a family that accept you for who you are. a family that can forgive.. a family that believe in God.

water and a flame

2009-12-15T03:43:00.000-08:00

i've been missing him like crazy and i dont know why, it's just every time i talk to him, my heart beats so ridiculously fast.
well the feeling that i have for this guy is somehow funny and weird in the same time.
i dont deal with distance whatsoever, so i just admire him from here. and nothing more to say
he's been nice to me, once or twice he talks to me and ask me how im doing. and it's just nice
but the fact that im not capable to reach him, i chose to move back. i dont wanna hurt myself by giving me some hope while i know there's never a hope in the first place.

it's just him with his lil good life over there. and i just cant compete. i cant compete...
but it's making me sick coz everyday i just simply think of him.
and i know im just wasting my time waiting! but what can i do?
it's just we're like water and flame. we cant be together.. no matter what.

he's too hard.. and out of reach.

lil sweet escape to singapore

2009-12-15T02:59:00.000-08:00

dear readers, from 9/12-14/12-2009 i went to singapore particularly to come to the biggest end-of-the-year event (ZOUK OUT!!!). i had so much fun in singapore and i dont wanna go home yet. well, the first night i arrived in singapore, my bestfriend took me to a new club in town, butter factory. i had so much fun over there, the song and the crowd are crazy. i was simply overwhelmed. after spending the whole night in butter factory, we changed direction to zirca, another cool club in singapore. i got hell of crazy experience dat nite! we hopped to a total stranger cars we dont even know them that well. i mean, come on, they're strangers!! but we had a good chitchat with them (we're very tipsy) and we think they're nice people. and we're right. they wanna give us ride back home, but we said no, we went home by taxi that nite feeling so happy!! (thanks to the alcohol).

i also went to clarkequay, esplanade bay to have that delicious warm chocolate cake in max benner, and chimes (such a nice place to hang out with friends, just talking and enjoying the beer), merlion(singapore icon), sentosa beach, orchard (ion mall, obanyaki in taka food court!). geez i love everything about singapore. and last but not least i wwent to zouk out this crazy event for all young people in town. so many djs are coming n they were so awesome especially armin van buuren. i'll be back for this event again next yer i promise!!

here's some pics of my lil trip to singapore:

a moment we'll treasure, a wedding

2009-11-14T10:25:00.000-08:00

when we're fall in love, we're making a commitment with our bf/gf. we're taking one step ahead than everybody else by telling dat we're taken. and afterward when we feel very comfortable enough with the person we're dating, we fell for her/him completely, and it's when we take another big step ahead, which is an engagement. when we're engaged, we're not just making a very serious long-term commitment my friend, but we're about to give our whole life, spend it forever with him/her. and while we're finally ready for that big commitment, then i believe we're also more than ready to take the last convincing step which is to get married.

married will never be describable. in my imagination, married is a really beautiful thing, such a pretty dream for every women who're in love. and honestly im one of those women who fall for a sparkling story of marriage. i adore its beauty, its honesty, its trust, and its strength. when i helped my friend to prepare for her marriage, i feel her strong aura, her beauty in every mimic she gave. yes, i adore people who're in love.

i don't care if love sometimes hurt so bad, but when you see the brides coming into the ballroom, you'll just see that love is a magnificent gift from God. you'll just burst into tears the moment you see her face, giving a full of happiness feeling. God is very kind.

here's some of picts of my friend's wedding:

my summer holiday

2009-10-08T05:15:00.000-07:00

traveling abroad is one of my favorite thing to do. i like to travel and i wish i could travel to all around the world and see the spectacular views of each places and of course for relaxing. simply said, i appreciate all the variances each country has and really want to learn at least one or more thing about its culture. this summer i went to Bali with my friends, spent a week over there and had lots experiences. and on september i went to hongkong, macau, and china for three weeks. nothing really special though, just went shopping, lots of family times and yeah basically not doin so much things there. almost all my aunts are there so we had lots of family time and had fun once in a while. there's my nephew too, and he's totally cute. he's 1 year and a half but he talks like a two and a half yer old boy which is why i love him even more. anyway, i wasnt only remember several streets in hongkong but i also experienced the food. i ate the most popular curry fishball and love it so much!! i also went to china, dont know what's the name of the place but it's my grandpa's village. it's a small village... nuthing's really attract me there. here's some of my holiday pics:

at china, my grandpa's village

mom and i at a temple

me with aunts

seems he wanna say sumthin.. ;D

me and the doraemon lantern, at mooncake celebration

hongkong mooncake celebration

at the chucrh wall

macau

causeway bay/times squares

william sweetheart

with aunts and mom

with william :)

Padang in grief

2009-10-06T06:34:00.000-07:00

there's nothing more heartbreaking than to see tons of people are dead and suffering from one of the very deadly catastrophe on earth, an earthquake. Indonesia is one of the worst that dealing with catastrophes. tsunami, earthquake, volcano and flood are four of the most heavy disasters that had happened in this country. a very stabbing reality that we couldn't avoid. everyone's praying and sinking to a very solemn space of their own without compromising. how God has created us into a living being is very beautiful and amazing, but how humans build and run all things He made for us is really not honorable. humans are made to make the earth glows and what we do is mostly the other way around. so while the earth is not taken care properly, of course it will tumble and resulting an awful consequences that we finally have to deal with. it's not just a disaster but also a warning to every one of us to just be a loving and caring people who actually really care about this world. or it could be a sign from God who wants us to see that He's sad with what we did to His creations. Padang was hit by a very extreme earthquakes 7,6 SR strong very recently. Everything is broken and nothing worth left. when i saw pictures and videos of it i mourned and really couldn't say a word. i kept thinking how shock and sad must be those people who are dying inside the crushing building, who are trying to save their life, and of course who missed their family whom they love so much. oh God, show us your pity and forgive us for all mistakes we've made.

if you wanna know more:
http://regional.kompas.com/read/xml/2009/09/30/20033875 /berita.foto.kepanikan.saat.gempa.sumbar

i have a dream, and i believe everybody does too

2009-09-08T06:29:00.000-07:00

since i was a lil kid, i wasn't considered as the most outstanding kid in class. in fact, i had always been the average. actually it's not so bad to be the average because you don't need to clench your fists every time the teacher calls on your name and ask you to solve math problems. it's simply because you don't need a perfection. yeap! perfection is all what matter to almost every smart kids in class. their splendid grades gave them so much pressures to be the most perfect one. well sometimes it's good for building their character, such as to be an optimistic person. but sometimes it could backfires and make them lose their self confidence. nevertheless, everyone of us has a dream! a dream that each one of us wishes to be accomplished one day. when i was a kid, i played a lot, didn't care even a bit on how to achieve my dream or how to get there. everything was a blur and i knew i still got lots of time so i need not to bother it. commonly, kids wanna be a doctor or a teacher in the future. they don't dream big enough because they just haven't learned lots enough. however as the time goes by, all of us grow up and become very critical in our way of thinking. we've been given the idea on how to face or solve problems, how to take care of small and big things in so many ways. and our dreams grow bigger.

and now here i am. im twenty years old and got lots of thinking going in and out of my brain and im truthfully proud of it. im trying to be focus and concentrate on what im doing which is not just to be a successful career woman but also a successful human being. what i mean is i personally love to work and love to spend my time doing lots of productive things because it makes me feel useful and independent but i'd also like to be a person with a more good-helping heart because it also matters a lot for me.

i like to work in something that involves many people, not just because it's fun but also it's good for us to learn how to be patient and how to handle every problems more maturely. in here, that's not exactly what im trying to convey. the thing i wanna say is that i have a dream, which is to be a successful career woman who earns lots of money and not even doubt a bit to spend it on something wise. i consider giving money to a charity is wise, helping poor people is wise, building free school for poor kids is wise, giving whatever your parent's needs is wise, entertaining sick and old people so they'd feel lots happier is wise, etc. and i bet you also have at least one dream you really wish to achieve one day, right? i am now in my process of getting what i want and it's certainly not easy. we'll have to struggle through a lot of problems along the way. but don't be afraid! all of us will eventually stand at this point where we have to think that no matter how bad things will happen in the future, we have to always raise our heads up and don't ever give up on something we believe. we have to learn to put as many expectations as possible and be not afraid of falling. thing that will also help us is to learn how to redeem a big disappointment when things don't go our way.

it's never late to dream big. start now! dream of what you wanna be! don't be scared to fly and explore the sky. people might say bad things about us, they intend to make us fail. but don't we care about a single thing they say! its not about them it's about us! i believe if we stay focus and always be responsible to what we do since now and then, we will get the result. and i have faith that if i've already tried so hard, there must be something positive in returns. whatever that positive things might be, i believe it's a process of learning and i wont regret a thing.

why my mother is the best mother in the world

2009-08-30T06:39:00.000-07:00

do you have a favorite hero? if you do, then who is it? if it's in a cartoon, my heroes would be sailor moon. but if it's in a real life, then my hero is my own mother. yes, she is my superhero and i really wanna be like her. a mother is the name for God in the lips and hearts of little children. and my mother is of course a very extraordinary one because besides she's a career woman she's also a loving and caring mother. my mom, she is not lady like she's far from that. simply also not like the other mothers who've got lots of times to go shopping and make themselves look pretty all the time. she's just not that type of woman for sure. she doesnt care if she has dry skin on her foot, if all her nails look awful, if her hair is short like a boy, if people talk something bad about her, if she goes out wearing only t-shirt and jeans all the time also with no make up, if she goes to a party wearing the same clothes she wore last week, if she never bring a purse everywhere she goes, if she's not smell like a walking flower. she is just the perfect plain mother who work very hard to earn money and make all the family members happy. as far as i know, she is the most cohesive person i've ever met in my entire life because she never gives up to anything as if she always has a dream to chase. and i admire her very very much.

she wakes up every day every morning to pack all the selling clothes and then she's off to work. well she owns a clothing shop and has been taken care of it for quite a really really long time. i guess it's been 20 years or even more. yes she's an impressive leader with a highly regarded mind and spirit. she is a good model for every hard working mother because she proved that all women dont need to fear even a bit feelings of being independent. she's the one who taught me that to be independent is not as scary as it looks because if we know the key which are strength and self confidence, we'll do great. not only she's an amazing career woman, she's also a wonderful mother fully because although she is so busy with her work she's still mantaining some time to talk to us, go out and eat ice cream and care for our simple needs.

she's also a loving wife. she has a good heart and she's showing it to us by never complaining if she's the one who always have to go to work. im so lucky to have a mother like her in my life. all i wanna learn about being a good bestfriends, good leader, good mother is all in her. she's totally shining and make an outstanding mother compare to others. and yeah she might not be the coolest mom or the most stylish mom ever but that's not very much essential because she is just far more precious than all that trashy stuffs. her self-character is what most women do have to learn.

why my father is the best father in the world

2009-08-30T04:18:00.000-07:00

what is a father to us? is he just a person who care for you since you were a baby or is he meant something a lot more than that? before anything else, my dad is not like the other common dad who are always off to work every morning and dont do the household work. my dad on the other hand is a decent man who just chose to stay at home and do the househusband things, if that's what a proper word to use-househusband. anyway, he is an adorable man who really love his kids and wanting to spare lots of his times taking care of the kids. my father is an angel sent from heaven.

he makes breakfast (fish/beef porridge with eggs on it-chicken fried rice-vegetables soup-omelette-etc), lunch (blackpepper beef-chicken soup- char kway teow-drunken chicken-wonton noodle soup-hainan chicken rice-butter fried chicken-prawn&mushrooms-sweet&sour fried fish-rendang-fish meatballs-beef tofu-steamed oyster crab-seaweed soup-pork chop-yellow chicken soup- red chicken soup-corn soup-fried shrimp in butter-shark's fin soup-etc etc), dinner. he also can make soya milk, medicine soup, chinese health tea. he cuts fruits for us, cooks for us, supervises our behaviour and makes jokes with us. Although he often get angry, but i know he never stop loving us because we are what's important for him the most. it's amazing to have a dad like him because we know it seldom to have a dad who can cook lots of foods and actually care to ask us what food we wanna eat that day and also for the next. he would also picked us up from school, take us to the tutor school afterwards, buy us lots of bread and food. he just doesnt want us to get hungry and he doesnt like too see us skinny because he cares about our health. he sacrifices his ego so we can get whatever we want. everytime we wanna buy something unimportant, he would jabbered a lot but in the end he always gives us the money. he always tells us that as a family we have to look for each other, sincere each other and protect each other as well. also to never get envy, mad, or do injustice to each other. he's just really a good man who wants us to love each other in the family with no boundaries. he is also the one who come to the parents meeting in my school, gets to meet my teacher and take my annual report. he also helps my mom in her clothing shop, so he sometimes take care of two or three things together and never complaining. i know he's not perfect, he must be tired too especially since he opened wallet bird nest business out of town his schedule becomes more tight. but he still cares and still bother to ask us about small things we've been doing lately. those are only little things he does to make his family happy but it does work like magic. we feel his love and the love grows even bigger than before. man! i just feel so blessed to have a dad like him. now that he's old and time keeps on moving i would like to capture every moment together with him because i know what will matters most is the memory that we're gonna keep forever.

my 20th birthday wishlists

2009-08-27T21:42:00.000-07:00

cant believe im turning 20 tomorrow. and my birthday wish lists so far are:

1. Pommier - Balenciaga bag

2. Blackberry Bold

3. Melissa's jelly shoes

women and men

2009-08-26T05:25:00.000-07:00

most women are impulsive. they tend to listen what their heart is trying to tell them and believe me the results are not always good. in fact, it almost never do any good for us. women are easily affected and sometimes we just wanna forget or pretend to forget that we have some logic that would probably help us out from a disaster we might caused if doing what our heart tells. we just like to play around so dangerously even if we know that we might get hurt.

are we women insane or what? we just took whatever chances we've got merely to pull ourselves closer to that guy while that guy might not feels the same way about us. but we dont really care do we? as long as we are passing our signs to him correctly we'll do just fine. yeah dats what we often think about how relationship will work. but these isn't just the thing i wanna discuss over here anyway. i am more concern about how we're gonna handle the situation when the guy we have a crush on is just not into us. when the guy we like doesn't like us back then it will be a complete misery. i've experienced such things before and it feels completely awful. but the thing that i really don't get is why almost all woman just couldn't be honest when giving advice to their friends.

when i was having such a terrible love stake about guys, my friends would support me by telling "well maybe he's just... this... and.. that..." and i was just stood in silence and pretended she was right about the whole thing, but actually deep down in my heart i know that all the things she said is nonsense. the guy is just not into me! dat's it. that's the right answer. it's as simple as that. sometimes i hate why women couldn't be brave enough to embrace their sad friends and to tell the truth about what they're really thinking.

yes i know that most of women don't wanna hurt their own best friends by telling the truth, i dont know whether you are the type of woman who just couldn't bear the truth or not, but i could convince you that im not that kind of woman! i want people to tell me the truth even if it hurts so bad! i need the truth because dat's what will help me to move on otherwise i'll be stuck thinking about him and will never let him go because im still giving my hopes up towards him who doesnt even care about me.

i dont know when these not-telling-the-truth tradition will stop but i really wanna change it particularly because it's not helping each other. women think too much about love. we're just too innocent to see what will men do if they're the one who have a crush on us because we're too busy trying and hoping that it might actually work. well i am as weak as the other women when it comes to love, but ive learnt that it's better not to be needy. i know it's killing both you and me. but please try not to be weak when you're head over heels.

fairy tales and their happy ending

2009-08-22T03:09:00.000-07:00

whom from all of you that ever dislike the story of all time princesses in Disney? it was every girl's dream to be one of them, to have a life that look like them, and of course have a very happy endings in the end of their life. the more i think about how perfect disney's life stories could be, the more i wanna throw up. there's no such thing as happy ending people! wake up and don't be too optimistic about how you would end up be in love and be loved by someone who you truly love. i hope you get what i mean. yes life is for quite some time is perfect nevertheless it won't be perfect forever if you know what i mean. there must be some troubles coming and not all of us could survive because ironically every bits of another troubles could definitely change our perception about life. i'm not only talking about love but also about other bullshits about life. i just learnt something today to not put too much hopes on something you really wish for because it's too dangerous. it's consuming our trust and is going to leave a permanent mark if it turns out to be such a very disappointment for you in the end. so whatever you hope for or you long for just don't put too much hopes because once you is betrayed, there will be no ways to fix the miscalculation. so yeah basically i hate the stories of disney's princesses, they are only real in fiction and since now and then i won't trust those magical dusts that according to the kingdom of Disney can forever change our life.

to father and mother

2009-08-21T08:21:00.000-07:00

i've been sitting for hours, thinking and feeling so heavyhearted that i am such an ungrateful child who just want everything and do anything i like without even bother about their feelings. today was just like the other day, normal and gent. things that was different is the way i see them because it seems that i was incompetent to open my eyes and see the reality that they're getting a little too older now. when i saw my dad's white hair and his obvious seen wrinkle skin i was buttoned up and couldn't say anything aside from turning my heads down and looked away. it's a heartbroken and i wanted to change things to alter them into a younger living being without knowing how. the most distressing part is that i just realized that i was too busy fooling around and of course i dont wanna end up like not knowing my own parents and be one of those people who don't talk to their own families. this is not kidding but i honestly want to spend more times with them because i know i dont have lots of time anymore because soon it'd be too late to regret.

my ultimate dream cars

2009-08-13T00:46:00.001-07:00

Land Cruiser 200 ZX 4.6

Nissan Fairlady 370 Z

BMW X6

E 350 Coupe

Audi TTS 2.0T FSI Quattro

this and that. whatever i do recently

2009-08-08T21:17:00.000-07:00

i've been watching the mentalist for the sake of the jobless-years i have. it's a well watching tv series and im assuring you that you barely will get bored. basically it's about a group of detective who work for CBI in united states and they are such an amazing detective to say that they are solving every mystery murders they encountered. some say it's a cheesy series but so far i find it surprisingly cool. well it made me stay at home for two days straight what more shall i say?
also disturbingly i've been reading the book called the mysterious benedict society. it's an entertaining book for kids and yet i found it so interesting too. there's a fantasy here and there and will never need you to think hard on it. yet it's so full of good morality. i promise you will never hate this book.

l o v e

2009-06-01T04:44:00.000-07:00

i know love hurts most of the times and some people wish they were not in love at all so they won't ever get hurt. but seriously, you will never capable of escaping from love because it's in us. we might wanna run when love doesn't compromise very well but we shall not ever run if the love we've been waiting for is just right in front of us. one thing that i will always set in mind is that people need love even if it's hurtful sometimes. especially for women, we just couldn't survive without love around us, love from our boyfriend. it's love that keeps us alive whether you like it or not. and love has no boundaries, you can love anyone and the biggest is not only for boyfriend but also for family.

and love based on my point of view is that it doesn't want people it love to get hurt because we just cant stand the pain. losing them is just intolerable and i will suffer till death. it's a selfish assertion but i believe you and me just have the same thing in mind when it comes to those whom we love so much, anything we will do to keep them around. and i'm not God i couldn't predict the future but at least i could pray for them who i love. i believe in God and i believe in His love. love is truly a blessing and it's just a waste if we're not trying to welcome it into our life. we have to never give up on love. As the bible has taught us that the quality of love is truly universal - as it literally transcends peoples, nations and religions. Love is truly the universal language of this world and people from all different walks of life recognize it for what it truly is and understand the power that is in it.

be in love!

New cellphone

2009-05-14T09:56:00.000-07:00

Nokia 2860 Slide.

well this phone is not exactly the phone i wanted. i want a blackberry bold but instead i'm getting these. it's okay though my mom bought it for me because i recklessly threw away my old battery cellphone. awkwardly the first time i saw this phone i just fell in love! i have to say that its very convenience and very simple, that's all what i need.

it's raining again

2009-05-11T10:03:00.000-07:00

readers, lately the weather is so horrible. It rains almost every night and it's so depressing. So, obviously i hate rain! Some people might probably like it when it rains but not with me. I find it so miserable, the sky is so gloomy and it's like the end of the world. It's may and i'm expecting a better weather like cloudy and sunny. i think it has sumthin to do with global warming. (sotoy)

little messages for my daddy

2009-05-06T07:38:00.000-07:00

readers, this post is dedicates to my dearest dad. my heart is in pain. i know i made too many mistakes and could never forgive myself. i know i disappoint him very much and i hurt him so deeply that he would never ever forget it. i really wish he knows how much i love him although i know it will not be the same anymore. i know it's extremely heartbreaking to see your daughter turning into a bad person, a person with such a bleak past. im not perfect and im tired living like this, living in pain. readers, i really wish there's a thing called time machine. i just wanna go and change everything and start my life from the beginning again. i kno he would never love me like he used to be but its okay, i know i dont deserve a second chance. i really hope time cures everything coz i really love him and want to make my relationship with him a lot better than before.

things i love to do

2009-04-06T09:31:00.000-07:00

watch dvds.

play computer.

listen to the music.

daydreaming.

doodling.

eat junk food.

dance.

read novels and magazines.

swim.

hang out with friends.

karaoke.

go to SPA reflexology.

eat yoghurt with mochi toppings.

buy groceries.

go to library or bookstores.

listen to a radio.

shopping.

watch movies and eat popcorn.

act.

go to church alone.

go for a trip or holiday outside my country.

do a make up.

write a blog, poems and short stories.

pretend to be a presenter, newscaster and broadcaster.

playing around with kids.

google.

learn new things.

Arah kehidupan

2009-04-02T12:22:00.000-07:00

Aku manusia paling berdosa.

Aku anak paling tidak berguna dan hidupku hancur tidak tertata.

Darimanakah aku harus memulainya?

Aku sedih, perasaanku hancur, dan aku membenci diriku sendiri..

Aku benci akan kebodohanku.

Aku tidak memiliki pendirian yang kuat dan aku mengecewakan banyak orang disekitarku.

Aku tidak dapat menentukan pilihan yang baik untuk diriku sendiri.

Aku tidak dapat melihat dengan mata terbuka.

Aku hampir selalu mengikuti perasaan, dan tidak mengikuti logika yang seharusnya bisa membawaku menuju hasil yang baik.

Aku adalah wanita lemah yang tidak mengerti apa artinya merelakan, melepaskan, menahan perasaan dan tidak melakukan tindakan tindakan bodoh.

Terkadang ketika aku merenung dan berfikir, aku merasa aku tak layak.

Kebahagiaan yang selama ini aku cari begitu susah untuk didapatkan.

Mengapa?

Apakah semua ini karna aku tidak bersyukur dengan apa yang telah kudapat saat ini?

Ya Tuhan, kumohon jaga aku, lindungi aku, dan maafkan semua kesalahan yang telah kubuat yang membuatmu sedih.

Maafkan aku karna telah banyak mengecewakan Engkau, maafkan aku karna aku telah menjauh dari diriMu.

Maafkan aku karena kelalaianku yang telah menghindariMu ya Bapa.

Aku hanya manusia lemah ya Bapa, aku butuh diriMu sepenuhnya.

Terutama untuk menjagaku dalam setiap badai perjalanan hidupku.

Jangan Engkau lelah ya Bapa.

Jangan Engkau memejamkan mataMu ya Bapa.

Aku ingin hidupku berubah.

Aku tidak mau menyakiti hati orang orang disekitarku, tetapi ketika setiap saat aku mencoba, aku selalu mengecewakan mereka?

Hatiku pilu, penuh dengan luka.

Pernah aku berfikir apa artinya hidup ini lagi?

Terlebih ketika aku sedang mengalami tekanan yang begitu besar, yang begitu menyita segala pikiran dan begitu menyiksa hatiku.

Aku tak sanggup.

Jiwaku hampa.

Aku pun telah banyak membunuh kepercayaan yang telah diberikan orang tuaku.

Aku merasa buruk.

Aku adalah makhluk yang sangat tidak mengerti artinya cinta dan kasih sayang.

Aku adalah manusia yang mati rasa.

Aku benci melihat dan mendengar kesedihan mereka melihatku dan aku sangat merasa gagal.

Aku lelah mengadu, aku lelah menangis, aku lelah bersedih.

Aku menjadi manusia yang bahagia, aku mau menyembuhkan lukaku ini.

Aku mau ada sebuah perubahan, aku membutuhkan kekuatan untuk bertahan, melupakan masa lalu, melupakan apa yang pernah terjadi dalam hidupku, melupakan semua kepahitan hidupku.

Aku tidak menemukan sebuah karakter nyata dalam diriku, aku tidak tahu siapa sebenarnya aku.

Aku ingin menyerah saja, aku lelah mencari.

Aku terlalu lemah dan aku tidak mau lagi terlihat kuat.

Aku tidak mau lagi terlihat bahagia. karna semua itu hanya kepalsuan.

Semua itu tidak nyata, karna hatiku penuh dengan luka membekas yang membuatku selalu hidup dalam sengsara, hidup dalam derita yang begitu pekat dan dalam, yang mendarah dalam diriku.

Aku butuh Engkau Bapa, penolongku, pemberi keselamatan dalam setiap perjalanan hidupku.

Aku percaya Engkau tidak pernah meninggalkanku...

Dan aku percaya Engkau akan beriku kekuatan.

Dalam nama Tuhan Yesus, aku berdoa...

April Fools and all dat

2009-04-01T08:45:00.000-07:00

Nothing really special today except some of my friends tried to fool me and well indeed some of them succeed.

Actually it's just like another day, with some more fun.

I went to karaoke and after that I go to play badminton.

It's quite a night coz I'm trully very very tired.

Anyway, I hope this month will be better than March. I hope it'll be full of happiness and joy for once again.

For me, April is just a good month for love. I know it's weird but I just like April and Isimply don't know why.

To fill in my boring daily life, I've been watching dvds. lots and lots of dvds

Now I'm watching Korean drama called "Boys over flowers".

It's entertaining enough.

I love Korean dramas. They're just good, simple, funny and easy to watch.

And I love the main lead, he's a very cool and a very sweet guy.

Here's the cover guys, incase you wanna watch it:

Anyways, happy cheery crazy April fools people!

New music cds

2009-03-23T07:13:00.001-07:00

I just bought 2 cds today.

First is Joanna Wang's new album. It's basically jazz.

And I love it.

"Joanna Wang- New Tokyo Terror"

And the second one is David Foster's compilation of songs.

It's basically pop.

And I love it too!

"You're the inspiration-the music of David Foster and friends"

Both cds are great.

Seriously, you have to listen to their albums. Promise you won't regret.

Very astounding, indeed.

Obsession

2009-03-18T23:33:00.000-07:00

What a girl wants?

The picture below is simply showing of all women's passion.

Those aren't just a bag.

Those are a very priceless bag. Why? Because those came from a very popular designers from all around the world.

And it's not only the design that'd kill you.

But also the quality of the bag.

Obviously, expensive bags are different from cheap bags.

The quality of those expensive bags is unbeatable.

The leather, the fabric, the zipper.

and EVERYTHING in it is certainly different.

so I love those bags.

Although I haven't got one yet.

I will get those bags someday though. I promise this to you.

Whatever it takes, I'll try to get those bags.

Now is just not the time yet. I don't have that kind of money to buy it.

That's why I've to wait.

I really want to buy those bags with my own money.

Coz I know it feels good when you buy something with your own earnings.

My dream house

2009-03-17T22:15:00.000-07:00

I've been thinking what kind of house I would like to build in the future, and of course the theme is my deepest concern.

For themes, I like something classic but not too old fashioned.

Something simple yet elegant. It's a lil bit touch reinnasance I guess.

I would like to build a really huge one with back and front garden in it.

For the designs, I'd like to have it with a bright yellow light, an old engraving art in the wall, tall and big pillars for the front door, lots of beautiful flowers to complete the corridors, lots of painting from popular artists in the wall, full carpet floor for almost every room, special sound system to fill in the air with a classical music, plus a back and front garden that filled by many kind of flowers and colors, with several birds to sing in the morning and in the afternoon.

I'd also like to have my own closets, that is huge. So, I could just put all my stuffs over there.

And a dressing room too.

With smells of flowery in the air.

Yeah, that would be very perfect for me.

Break a leg everyone. Especially for those who wants to have this kind of home.

You would need an extreme hard work to collect the money, and simply fulfill your dreams.

My Fashion Blog

2009-03-17T04:45:00.000-07:00

http://fashion-ave.blogspot.com

I've released SEASON TWO yesterday.

It's quite a long work.

I hope people could give me their honest feedback.

Coz it's quite a process.

The basic themes of my second seasons are flowers and animal print.

Visit my fashion blogspot when you have times! =)

Broken Heart

2009-03-14T00:54:00.000-07:00

"I wish someone could heal my wounds.

I don't wanna feel this pain anymore."

Agapanthus Flowers

2009-03-13T00:12:00.000-07:00

Have you ever seen this flowers before?
It's called Agapanthus.
Well, the named Agapanthus comes from the Greek agap, meaning love, and anthos, meaning flower, translating broadly as the flower of love.

Usually, people know it as the Lily of the Nile, African Blue Lily, and African Lily.
According to http://www.theflowerexpert.com/content/growingflowers/flowersandseasons/agapanthus,

The genus, Agapanthus includes about 10 species. Agapanthus flowers bloom in large, round clusters or umbels of blue, white or violet- blue. The funnel shaped Agapanthus flowers gorw at the end of a thick 2 to 4 foot tall stem. The Agapanthus clusters measure about 6 to 8 inches across.

Agapanthus plants are native to South Africa, spreading across the Western Cape through to the Eastern Cape. Agapanthus grow in the shade from trees to get protection from the hot sun.

The Agapanthus africanus' anthers, like the petals, are bluish because the pollen is lilac in colour. Agapanthus africanus shares this characteristic with Agapanthus caulescens and Agapanthus coddii. Bees visit and pollinate the Agapanthus flowers. The Agapanthus seeds are dispersed by wind. Agapanthus africanus are lily-like blooms and come in clusters made up of many bell-shaped flowers. The Agapanthus clusters are globe-shaped or pendular. Agapanthus flowers are in various shades of blue, from a dusky, powder blue to an almost indigo-purple, but there are some white varieties as well.

Facts About Agapanthus

Agapanthus is a showy widely grown plant for its exotic blue or white flowers that bloom from late spring until the beginning of autumn, depending on the species.
The perennial Agapantus grow from an underground rhizome each year.
The tender Agapantus africanus species is evergreen while the hardier Agapantus campanulatus species, coming from moister, mountain grasslands, have slightly smaller flowers and die down during winter and re-emerge again the following spring.
Agapanthus is suspected of causing haemolytic poisoning in humans, and the sap causes severe ulceration of the mouth.
Agapanthus contains several saponins and sapogenins that generally have anti-inflammatory (reduce swelling and inflammation), anti-oedema (oedema - swelling due to accumulation of fluid), antitussive (relieve or suppress coughing) and immunoregulatory (have influence on the immune system) properties.

I love flowers. They're so pretty.

adaptating

2009-03-12T13:14:00.000-07:00

Along the way of our life's journey, we'll always meet new people.
And when those new people come to our life, then we'll try to open our heart, our mind, and our soul.
For there will be another step to learn about life.
Sometimes, we are lazy to get things rolling with new people, and it's wrong.
We all know that this life is short, so it'd be more wise for us to:

as the old saying goes... live our life to the fullest.
do something new, meet new people, and from then, just follow your heart.

You'll be fine.

dakota fanning and her glow

2009-03-09T21:48:00.000-07:00

A gorgeous and very talented girl. I love her acting, she's so damn cool in Push. She's growing up into a really charming and very stunning teenager! Her acting in every movies of hers are enormous. Here are some of her pics:

Push movies

She's in Push! Very cool, huh.

Lookin Pretty here!!

She has this classy face that everyone loves!

fun night out

2009-02-27T08:48:00.000-08:00

Went to watch strangers today. It's quite an ordinary movie. Nothing really surprised me!
But oh well, I had fun with my friends today. That's the most important thing.
Watch movies and karaoke are things I really like to do.
Simple and very entertaining.

Today's my daddy birthday. Went to buy him wine, and we'll have family dinner tomorrow night in No Sign Board restaurant in Pacific Place, Sudirman. It's quite a plan.

Great holidays

2009-02-26T10:41:00.000-08:00

My friends from different countries came back to Jakarta for holiday. Everyone enjoys their holidays as much as I do.
Here are some pics of me and my friends spending time together while they're back in town.
We went clubbing, had dinner together, etc.

dendy-tisa-me, dinner@ blowfish.

lemon-tisa-me-cha @J.CO, sency.

me-friends, @buddha bar.

tisa-cimo-dodel-me @sour sally, SENCY.

Another Xmas dinner @ tisa's house.

me and ART 12 binusians, XMAS dinner @Pand'or

me-tisa, dinner@PURO.

me-clare-karina-dodel @ blitz, GI.

me-cimo Q-BIL.

me-anton, X-LOUNGE

me-kevin, X-LOUNGE

me-dodel, EQUINOX

Reckless me

2009-02-26T08:12:00.000-08:00

My dinner was not quite nice.
I ate too much. (satay, ropang coklat keju, etc etc etc)
and I couldn't even stand up straight.
Anyway, I lost my ATM card this afternoon, dammit!
I hope the bank would still keep it.
Tomorrow I'll drop by and get it back.
Why I have to be so damn reckless sometimes?

Sisters fight

2009-02-09T07:52:00.000-08:00

Do you ever hate you sisters so much that you don't even wanna see their faces?!
That's what happen to me now!
And it's a really really long story.

For me, they're just incredibly irritating people.
and now, I'm at this point where I don't even want to talk a single word with both of them.
you can call me crazy, but I ain't gonna talk to one of them.

At least not for this moment.

trashy new year

2009-01-05T04:21:00.000-08:00

people were so excited about how they gonna spend their new year's eve together. i've been fooled to join the company of my mom's hood and so they were taking me to these villas of my parent's (instead of having party with my friends, i was stuck in those corny jail of my mom's). well i was glad that it's over just faster that i'd thought. and so i went to well they called it an extremely large reunion of binusians in these club named x-lounge. i wasn't so excited at first but what can i say the evil calls made me come to that party and so i was there, partying all night long and drank like a lame grandma that never go to a party. i danced to the core and completely disremembered what i did the rest. call me an egocentric bitch but i like to get drunk and very much hate the concequences. well there i was making the dumbest mistake i've ever made which was kissing these guy i barely speak with and turns out he is the king of the jerk in town. so as far as i've heard, he was making up stories and told almost everyone (especially his inner circle) that i was the one who chase him and even insist upon coming with him to his house. yeah, what the hell. well if i was that drunk that night, he didn't suppose to take an opportunity of it! that means he is a real jerk who just doesn't know how to treat girls politely. he sucks. the thing that i will never forgive is that he was telling people the idea of me fetching him those bullshits. i just don't wanna bear him now or ever. one thing ahead i will do if i by any chances meet him in the future is i will break his neck. and oh please blame it on the alcohol. alcohol isn't just work as a magic but sometimes it could be a very wicked poison and deathly one.

well because of these upsetting facts i'm hoping in the future i could command myself not to be such a lunatic bitch who just dance like a whore. now i get my karma because im grounded, simply lost my parent's trust because i was sent home in a drunk and in a very unbearable condition, had a really huge fight with my sisters (once again because of these bulls) and become the slut of the talk. hoping everything is gonna be okay is just out of my authority now. i'm just gonna confirm and explain everything to people who heard of the-talk simply just to soothe my feelings and i don't care what will they say about me afterwards. they can call me a freak if they think i don't have to make straight of everything. but what they say will not matter because my heart is all what matters. dont wanna be a drama queen for sure but if being a dramaqueen can mend the hole in my heart, then that what i'll do.

the jerk slipped in one of us. and im not gonna tell you which one is he here. whoo he could party like a cow..ard. jackass

It's Christmas, already

2008-12-18T07:25:00.000-08:00

delighted, happy and excited.
It's Christmas and it means Christmas trees, mistletoe, turkey, and jingle bells.
I've always love Christmas! It's peaceful and everything is pretty.
and I'm thanking God for what he gives me and my family, which are health and life.

Queen of Procrastination

2008-12-10T01:41:00.000-08:00

Yeah, that's me people.
Will never be able to be in a serious commitment.
Here's my retail business email:

fash.avenue@gmail.com
fashion-ave.blogspot.com

Open it, see it, and buy it.

Chilling out

2008-12-01T07:24:00.000-08:00

Another spoiled day of mine. I went to senci and ate lunch with my lovely friends who just came from Melbourne.
We ate sushi tei for lunch. I've always love sushi.

think of a name

2008-11-23T08:20:00.000-08:00

I'm confused.
I want to pick one good name for my boutique, but then I've found it very dense.
Too many choices.
At first I chose Beau, but then I changed my mind.
my friends said that Beau is not a good name! it's not ear catchy!
then, he suggested "FASHION AVENUE".
And I just simply like it. and I'll use that name.

wish me a huge luck.

First Client

2008-11-20T07:02:00.000-08:00

I'm happy. You know why? Coz yesterday I got my first client. She ordered a batik dress for herself and a suit for her boyfriend. I hope it's a good beginning.

So, I went to Mayestik, where I could find a lot of fabs fabrics.
I heart Mayestik. I love it so much.
Anyway, she's my first client. I want to make the dress looks really good, so she'll be satisfied and she'll make another one.

They're looking good.

Fuddyduddy daddy

2008-11-12T07:49:00.000-08:00

I'm tired.
He had pushed me too far!
My dad controls my life, and I hated it.
He hates me for what I've done in the past! I know I was the wrong one, but I had enough of everything, every single words he said made me feel so bad.
I cried so many times already.
and only needed a break.

Fine wedding celebration

2008-11-09T22:53:00.000-08:00

Yesterday, I woke up early and only slept for a few hours.
Had to go to salon and had a made over from head to toe.
It was my cousin's wedding. I participated as the ushers.
I wore a pink dress they'd given to me. It's pretty cheesy, but it's nice.

The wedding was perfect. Oh, I love WEDDINGS.

saying goodbye to seattle is not easy

2008-11-07T07:20:00.000-08:00

my first apartment

my first room

me-downtown seattle, winter.

me-in the bus

Imel's birthday

me-with my lovely friends

dear readers, i've nothing to do so I wanna tell u about my life in seattle back then. also, telling u the reasons I left Seattle. First of all, Ive never had a plan to go to Seattle! I've always wanted to go to new york instead, for a college! I've been waiting for a letter from the ny's college, for almost 1 year and a half but got nothing in reply. I've sent all the document through my agent and the college people said they didn't get any of my files. I was so pissed!! I spent a lot of money to pay the agent, but I didn't get anything in the end. so, they told me to change direction and go to seattle instead. so i considered it before i finally chose to go to seattle. one of my bestfriend is there and im hoping it will be a fun journey for me. but seattle wasnt really my place you know. i dont like the weather, its cold and raining all the times so gloomy. but i loved it when it snows. ;) and one problems led to another, i decided to back for good to indo. on 29th August 2008 (my birthdayyy, spent it on the airplane) I went home.
Here are some of the strong reasons why I left seattle:

The weather sucks
I felt lonely almost all the time
I'm way too concerned about my parents
Jakarta is better for the entertainment. lots of friends and so many places to go
clueless about what i wanna be in the future. so instead of wasting my parent's money, it's better im back here and think once more about my future planning
3,5 years uni life in seattle wont be a nice idea for me
had a boring activity, all the same routines

its all about it. but i didnt say its easy to say goodbye to seattle. there are so many memories that i wud never ever forget. i met some new friends and i enjoyed the moment ive spent with them. so, saying goodbye to seattle is not easy

Poems i made

2008-11-05T06:37:00.000-08:00

Kejujuran dan Kehormatanku
Aku bersama dengan keberanianku
Sisa dari jiwaku, bertanya.. menghela..
dimana arti kejujuran bagi para manusia berkuda?
Sejujurnya, ketika aku berkata, hatiku terluka..
Dimanakah matamu melihat?
Aku sungguh kecewa dengan segala perkara..
Namun siapa tak berani bertahan dan mencoba, dia kalah..
Aku mulai tak mengerti, mulai aku tersesat tak terarah
Teriaklah! beritahu bahwa aku telah salah
Jangan kau buat seakan manusia tak bernyawa
Duduk aku tak bersuara, bahkan suara mobil di luar sana,
menepi.. dan mati melihat mimik dan luka dari sebuah wajah manu.. sia.
Harga diriku petakalah! menyingkir! pergi dan tenggelam
Kembalilah untuk bangkit dari sekedar diam
Biarkan dan jangan angin udara meneteskan air mata mereka
Aku mohon, lahap semuanya!
Biar aku melihat kehormatanku, juga kejujuranmu, bersatu...
-10/12/2005-

Cemburuku, bukan cemburu laki-laki
Perempuan memang berbeda, banyak celah dan ruas
Bebeberapa hanya bisa malu, tapi beberapa bukan malu, bukan tak tahu malu...
Sedang aku, bukan keduanya.
Aku seorang yang berbeda
Khayal beberapa orang terhadapku seperti satu
Cemburuku.. Cemburunya.. adalah hal yang berbeda
Adillah sang Pencipta, karena siapa terus mengayun,
Dia akan selalu terayun.
Siapa yang bersandar, akan selalu tersandar..
Perasaanku akan kuubah, seiring aku mengayun
Aku berusaha untuk selalu mengayun
Memang aku tak tahu dia sesungguhnya,
Aku bukan teman, apalagi sahabatnya
bukan juga layak halnya seorang musuh
Pelajaran tentang dunia, banyak tercermin padaku
Aku belajar, dan akan belajar
Untuk menjadi seorang satu yang terbaik, dan menjadi lebih baik...
-10/12/2005-

Rasa Sedihku
Air mataku telah mengalir
BErdebu tak berair
Aku takut akan sebuah masa depan
Pilihan yang kutentang dengan pikiran yang kuinginkan
Sebenarnya aku ingin pergi
menggali ilmu juga cina..
mencari keaslian dunia tanpa berani berfikir apa yang mungkin ada disini
hatiku dalam terluka
kepada siapa aku mungkin dan seharusnya bertata kata
dia si utama sedang tidak ada
teman aku bingung harus bagaimana bersuara
sejujurnya aku hanya butuh dia
apa daya biaya dan jarak pemenggal semata
uang kini, uang nanti
dapatkah untuk menggali, dan mencari?
aku rasa, aku hanya bisa duduk dan tertawa
untuk hal yang telah menimpa
tapi aku bisa mengubah, mungkin dengan berusaha dan percaya...
-14/12/2005-

Ketakutanku
Tubuhku mengilu, sakit
tapi aku dapat bertahan
apakah ini?
sesuatu telah terjadi, bagai aku tak mengenali aku
akankah aku tiada, seperti layaknya manusia terkapar parah
aku menahan air mata yang hampir tumpah dari mata
namun aku tak bisa
karena ketakutanku bukan hal biasa semata
besar dan banyak! menyakitkan
materi, cinta, dan khayalan memutar segalanya
aku letih, takut, dan seolah terpincang
akankah hal ini menjadi akhir duniaku
ataukah awal dari pencobaanku
semuanya Tuhan yang memberi makna
Aku gadis kecil yang hanya bisa menangis
Hingga suatu waktu dan suatu kabar datang mengubah...
-14/12/2005-

Keinginanku Bertemu dirimu
Bunga gambar kuning dihadapanku tidaklah cerah
Aku memikirkan kita, kamu...
baru kau pergi, aku sudah ingin melihat kau kembali
apakah ini rasanya terpisahkan oleh jarak
Segala masalah sulit aku tumpahkan
aku butuh dirimu disini
untuk kupeluk, kucium, dan tempatku menangis
Semua.. aku butuh dirimi
aku sadar tak bisa, karena perbedaan waktu dan tempat
semuanya bercampur menjadi satu
aku sangat ingin dirimu ada di sebelahku
tertawa bersama, sedih bersama dan bersenang berdua
aku akan menunggumu
walaupun aku sedikit kecewa, karena aku terlalu ingin membagi waktu dengan dirimu
walau aku tahu, kita berbeda, entah tempat dan entah waktu...
-14/12/2005-

Masa Laluku
Aku benci ketika mataku ada didepanku
Aku mengeluh dan lalu menapak
sosok lelaki tampan berdiri memberi senyum pilu
lalu air mata beningku mengalir tak menentu
adakah dia akan kembali?
hatiku terpancing emosi membara
kenangan yang dulu tak pernah hampas
waktu kosongku habis dengan namanya
sudah 2 tahun lamanya
kenangna itu terus menjadi bayanganku
kembalilah! teriakku kencang menembus suara angin yang berlalu
datanglah dan taklukan aku
matamu kuharap menatapku
aku benar benar ingin bertemu dirimu
dengan segala status pada dirimu
aku tak perduli
ku seperti ingin khianati
asal kau kembali berkata dan mengunyah menghaluskan aku
aku butuh dirimu untuk bangkitkan aku
penat aku jauh, lelah pikiranku
enyah lah dirimu! aku telah memiliki ksatria
dan bukan dirimu berhak akan aku..
-12/12/2006-

Hati kecilku berkata
Senyum di bibirku melebar
mataku kosong terpana dan rambutku terurai indah
kuperhatikan diriku dalam cermin kamarku
duduk dengan manis dan tersipu
sekilas, aku melihat kembali apa yang kurasakan dulu
masa kecilku yang penuh dengan kenangan manis
dia selalu terlintas walau dia bagian dari masa laluku
bodohnya aku, cinta monyet memang selalu terpatah
aku rindu masa kecilku
menari tanpa malu, bertindak tanpa tahu
kini terkadang aku masih memikirkannya
tapi diriku tak berani bersuara
aku memiliki penat hidupku
begitu juga dia
yang selalu aku tahu, dia seorang penyayang
bak kakakku seorang
ia seperti tempat perlindunganku yang lain
karna aku percaya kepadanya
seperti aku mempercayai kekasihku kini...
-12/12/2006-

my bestfriend's 20th birthday surprise

2008-11-04T06:06:00.000-08:00

Cupcakes, candles, rainbow sprinkles, whipped cream, cute dolls on top of the cupcake, etc..
yeah, there's a party goin on in here. I threw a surprise for my bestfriend last night for her 20th birtdhay.
Me and my other friends crawled slowly into her house and her mom helped us by giving signals. we're throwing her a surprise every year.she was pretending to be shocked lol. but i know she knows. anyway i gave her a lovely key-chain from FAO SCHWARZ, new york.

She likes all the cupcakes decoration, especially the one with pumpkin. here's some of the cupcake pics:

complex trouble with a friend

2008-11-02T19:37:00.000-08:00

im in a very complex situation right now. my best friend from junior high school called and told me everything i dont wanna hear. you'll get confused with this particular problem of mine. so, she told me that his boyfriend likes me, she was crying so hard when telling me all this. I was literally in shock (and almost got a stroke) I really dont know what to do and what to say. and its not a fucking joke, it's real. i was speechless and it was the worst problem i've ever encountered. ever! i wish i could act normally and instead trying to calm her down, but i simply couldnt. not after se told me everything.

i really wanna kill him for doing this to her. one thing i cud tell you he's making a big mistake and he's going to regret it! i dont really know whether the information is accurate or not, but my best friend told me it is. she got the news directly form his cousin (oh well how accurate is that huh?!) i was so confused because how does it really happened? things will become so awkward between us and i just dont wanna imagine the afterwards effect of this problems, yet. she told me she still wanna see him and misses him and everything. she's so fragile and i dont want her to get hurt yet for another zillions time. She kept looking for answers although she knows the truth already.
I was kinda upset when I knew that she talked to her bf about everything again, involving me into their conversation. Their conversation brings me pain you kno. its not easy for me too, looking ur best friend cried because of you?! hell its not a good feeling i tell ya ladies!
well but I forgave her for her selfishness, and I'm finally fine with it. She said she just wanna make things more clear than before, that's all. but what I really couldn't accept is what he says about me, he said that now he sees me as a bad person, he said I like to get drunk, I had a bad past, and so on and so on. he was also angry with us because he saw us smoked cigarettes once. its not fair for him to judge me like that after what he did to her. please be a man.
I mean he has no idea what i've been through so he better shut his mouth off! i almost forget to tell u readers, he's one of my bestfriend too. yeah that guy. now i'm so pissed i dont even wanna see him or talk to him ever again. He doesn't know the truth, but he talk talk talk just like a girl. I'm very disappointed with him. I thought he's my best friend too and he wouldn't say something like that! But he's a complete jackass! No matter what happen in the future, it will never be the same anymore.
And as for my friend, she promised me she won't talk about him anymore. I told her that my life will still be the same with or without him. So, I told her that she doesn't need to be worry about it. i told her we won't lose our friendship just because of this. I don't wanna lose her because I trust her and she trusted me as well. So, nothing else matters.

a random sunday

2008-10-26T05:32:00.000-07:00

Hey readers today is sunday and im doing nothing in particular. well, i didn't go to church(feeling guilty because of it) and i didnt do anything productive either. anyway, lots of people called today looking for a job because i put an advertisement in pos kota newspaper looking for somebody who has experience in a garment field. i wanna start doing business, making party dressed for people and selling dresses to people thought internet. anyway, december is coming soon and i know "he" will be here for his holiday. someone i used to love, sumone used to be my other half is coming and im so scared im telling you. i dont know what to be scared of but i just dont wanna bump into him sumwhere u know. its not gonna be easy for me. hell its crashing me down!

New york New york, a city that never sleeps

2008-10-22T21:35:00.000-07:00

Hello dear readers, I hope you have a good day today. I wanna share to you some experiences of mine when i was in new york city for holiday this summer. I stayed in nyc for 2 months and i loved it so much!! i love the whole thing about nyc, it's so beautiful and i literally cant take my eyes off its beautiful building and the whole pretty scene around. I lived in Flushing, Queens (like the second china town in nyc) and of course its so full with chinese people. I love to go to manhattan because it's where the all impossible becomes possible. i literally cringe whenever i walked down that street because it was just too surreal. the food is amazing and it's really like dream comes true.

I miss nyc very much and i really wanna go back there sum time in the future. everything in it is so cool and should i say spectacular? (dont mean to exaggerate but it's really an impressive city). Anyway, i made my 2 months holiday in nyc worth every pennies! Here's the list of places i had the chance to visit while i was in new york:

SOHO (definitely heaven on earth for those of you who love to go shopping)
TIMES SQUARES (the big apple, which has so many cool billboards all over it, it's really cool especially at night when all the light is on)
Brooklyn Bridge (it's a long bridge and has an amazing view from right in the middle of the bridge)
China Town (im so sorry to say this but china town smells really bad! but since all the food are insanely delicious i shud give it some credits)
5th Avenue (totally speechless. it's the best from all. all branded shops are lining and waiting for us to just see and enjoy and possibly buy all their gorgeous goods. it's another heaven for all shopaholic sisters)
6th Ave (love all the tall buildings with its unique architecture)
Madison Ave
Bleeker Street (went to the magnolia bakery (cupcake stores in sex and the city movie), tried the cupcake and totally love it. the cheesecake is also recommended)
Museum of national history (it's so huge and pretty crowded with people. Night in the Museum movie's set place. so its really cool)
Rockefeller center (hands down its so pretty here! I love all the flowers in this street coz its so colorful and its just beautiful. you can also see people walkin around, some with their busy schedule and some just enjoying the view of the white blue sky)
Empire state (I had fun here!! Saw everything clearly from telescope! and saw the very beautiful NYC from above! definitely romantic and the lights came so perfect to complete the view!) ^^
Little Korea (please take me back here again, i ate korean food like crazy, i just love it so much)
Cathedral church (totally amazed with this church, the interior is crazy. i love this building)
Columbus circle (a lot of people sit in here, spending their time doing nothing but simply rest. It's near the central park gate (places of AUGUST RUSH movie!) :p
Atlantic City (you can play casino and enjoy the beach!) It's a very artsy place too. I LOVE IT. =,)) Took me an hour to get there by car.
Six Flags (I BET you'll like it here!! I played several kinds of roller coaster!! it was so much fun!!) It's in New Jersey though, you have to go there by bus! :p
Madame Tussaud (haha all the hollywood celebrities are very cool, they look almost the same with the real one! and they're all smiling and very nice to me too!!) lol =D
Biggest Macy's store in the world! Yeah, it's big and tall! you'll find everything you need in here)

no wonder so many people wanna live in nyc and pursue their dreams there, it's a gorgeous place! everyone is derssing up and they just dont judge. you can be whoever you are in new york city, a city that never sleeps! so long nyc.. till we meet again! :)

some of my pics:

me- and bubba gum gum in museum national of history! =p

City Plaza-in bridewars!! :p

this is how subway looks like! *very creepy, rite?!* (-__-)"

place to sit near Rockefeller Center! Lovely!! ^^

Cathedral Church. It's pretty, isn't it?

my lil bro. hahaha! poor him! he had to bring all my shopping bags! :p

me-and cute dolls from FAO SCHWARZ! (biggest dolls store!!) ^___^ I'm blessed!

me-in the biggest apple store in 5th ave!! :))

views from Empire State Building! :)

six flags

me-with angelina jolie and brad pitt (madame tussaud)! they're so damn tall! hahahah!

me-hugging m&ms vending machine! I HEART m&ms! ;p

me-in SOHO, in front of KIDROBOT shop. You have to visit this one! All the dolls are very kawaii!! *__^

me-with my auntie. hihihih look at her face!! ahahah! funny!

Caesars palace wannabe! hahahaha!

me-and my lil cutie nephew!! spendin our time in atlantic city! he is sooooo cuteee!! i miss him so much :,((

mom and dad you're the best!

2008-10-22T09:20:00.000-07:00

They're leaving to Kalimantan today and will be staying there for two weeks. I'll miss them so much even though it's not like they're going somewhere really far. Well, in this first post of my first blog, I'd like to tell you people about how great my parents really are. My dad is 65 years old now and my mom is 54 years old. Yeah i know, they're old. my parents are superhero because they'd never give up no matter how hard life's been treating them lately. they're so strong and it gives me hella pain to have to see them working very hard just to make everything in this family better.

anyway, i was just arrived in Jakarta 2 months ago. I went to college in shoreline, seattle for almost 9 months and i decided to go back home(Indo). I dont really feel right to be there because i kept thinking of my parents i was afraid that sumthin will happen to them just simply because they're old already. i was so clueless about my life back there. dont know exactly what i want, im so lost! besides of the economic worries, i really had no idea what i wanna do. i know that im happy there even though i have to work, but missing my family especially my parents is killing me more than anything else in the world.

now its not a good time to nag because my parents been through a lot and i think they deserve a break. Having me back in town means lessen all their problems and i know they really want me to stay here. i know that everything happens for a reason and i know that goin back here doesnt always mean im not gonna be able to pursue my dream (that i havent decided yet). i just need to be thankful that both of my parents are healthy! I really hope that everything will be better in time.